Adji Ngathe kebe
I’d like to think we all have hobbies or little interests we’re obsessed with. I love fashion. I’ve always loved it. I grew up with my mom styling, dressing, and creating clothes. Every outfit had a bag, bracelets, jewelry, headwrap. The outfits were never lacking. I never really had the trendy clothing at the time. My parents are as African as they come and they didn’t want me wearing ripped jeans. They didn’t want me to become a “hobo.” I still don’t know how wearing ripped jeans, equates to “hobo”—However, they said it and forbade them, so it must be true according to them.
I would sometimes wear multiple layers to school so I can change in the bus. I wanted the freedom to wear my short skirts, and tight shirts. I wanted the freedom to dress however I wanted. Through styling myself for deception and sometimes making my own clothes, I tried to find a way to myself.
I love fashion because of all the ways I can express myself. I love the idea of clothing as adornments for our bodies—ornaments on a Christmas tree. I want to feel comfortable and confident in my clothing. There’s a way I desire for it to speak for me at times as I don’t want to use my voice. I’m not sure if it’s social anxiety, but sometimes when I’m out in public, I simply don’t want to talk. I like expressing myself; However, through my clothing, accessories, and makeup.
I’ve been trying to shop consciously for about a couple years now. Part of the reason I started shopping this way was college. I would get some money back from the school loans and I would use some of it to buy clothes. The goal was to get clothes lasting me a year, so I didn’t have to waste money on clothes throughout the year. I was working fulltime and going to school full time. Every dime I earned went into rent, groceries, utilities, etc… I knew I would really struggle to make ends meet if I wanted to dress the way I wanted to.
I was spending so much money on Forever21 and H&M. I could get more for my money, but the quality wasn’t always the best. I would wear an outfit for about 3 months then it would fall apart. The neckline became loose or the fabric spooled on the floor like spaghetti. I would get upset because I paid hard earned money and it didn’t last me.
I started looking more closely at clothing. The fabric, quality, and potential longevity. I looked at the price and what it was truly worth. I started to figure out what was good quality clothing and for what price. I knew if it was mostly made of viscose and polyester, it shouldn’t be over $200 for most high end brands. 90% percent of the time they’re not worth it. The clothing is expensive but breaks down easily. Designer clothing have a markup of 55 to 62 percent. Let’s say if something is $70. In order to gain the maximum profit from it, the $70 dollar shirt will sell anywhere from $108.50 to 113.4 due to the markup. The markup is worse in fast fashion stores like Zara, H&M, Fashion Nova, etc… Their markup prices are usually over 100% if not up to 200%. It’s why we are being charged $20 dollars for jeans made in garment factories with several human rights violations. They made the jeans for $.19 cents, yet we are paying several times over for something made to fall apart. During sales is when you notice the true worth of clothing. The markup prices are removed as they are trying to clean out inventory. That’s when I shop.
I stalk the clothing I want like an animal stalks prey. I save the clothing I want on a website. It allows me to collect the clothes I want to buy and organize it. I don’t play about style. It’s how I’m aware of what’s on sale, when I should wait to buy clothes, or if certain clothes are no longer worth it. I like shopping like this because I get great quality clothing for really cheap prices. It also allows me to shop slower. Because I wait for the huge seasonal sales, I don’t shop much year-round. I buy the clothing I want and find endless ways to style them. This way of buying clothes will not work for everyone, especially if you want the trendy styles as soon as they come out. Another reason I love to shop this way, is I get to create my own style. I’m not waiting for trends to show me how to dress, instead I’m letting my curiosity guide me. For the pieces which excite me, I’ve already seen myself rocking them before I buy them.
I want to adorn my body in beautiful clothing. It feels good to me. It improves my mood and adds a bit more creativity to my day. I also am free to be me. My clothes are COMFORTABLE. I’m bougie! I don’t want to feel scratches on my body or anything uncomfortable. If I’m wearing something all day I don’t want to feel as if I’m fighting a hidden enemy. Why am I on edge because the back of my shirt collar is scratching the back of my neck? Do I expect myself to be scratching the back of my neck all day? I calculate these mini violences. Enough is enough. I will pay for the comfortable clothes, but for the best price. I don’t want to feel as if I’m jumping out of my skin when I put a piece of clothing on. The point for me is to always have freedom and whatever allows me to be more free–I’m in pursuit of that.
